Less Contact Hours but, Lots of Love.


My pretty girls.

I do not contact them as often as I should, and somehow I am always afraid that we will be in an awkward zone because we barely see each others.  

But, I do miss them. Always.

They are one of the sets of my support systems during my worst year in PASUM. 
The moment when I did not know what should I do in life.
The moment when once I wanted to stop studying.
The moment when I wanted to just let a car hit me and die.
The moment when I was at my worst.
They make me want to stay and live.


My Current Epiphanies


1. I am supposed to finish a report on STD but I'm stuck somewhere in the middle where I should give suggestions on how to prevent STD. I should listen more to Tira who is currently doing Internal Medicine cycle.

2. I love someone who I should not love who I want to run away from but I can't. Urgh. Complex.

3. Life has been hectic lately and I forgot that I have a blog to share it. Well,  I did not get sleep for a few nights and if you know me well, I savour my sleep. I can sleep after a few seconds by just putting my head on the pillow.

4. I am insecure as hell. The weighing scale brings me 8 points forward compared to last year.

5. Weirdly, people are saying that I'm getting thinner. 

6. Sarah said that my English is getting worse. I have to admit it. I can't even write a proper blog entry.

7. I need to go less on Instagram because I think I go there for at least 3 hours per day which is a bad thing. If I use that 3 hours wisely, I can finish my assignments earlier and I can watch more English movies to improve my language.

8. I just found Hana's blog and she writes better than me who is majoring in English.

9. I'm sinful. I read less al-Quran.

10. I am admitting that I am an attention seeker. Period.

Waves of English - SEMESTI


Being granted to be the Exco of Community Service of ELS, I have the "privileged" to be the director of every English Camp that we are invited and the one that we plan.

I have to admit that, I am not used to lead because I love to be lead. It is hard to oversee a group of people under you and the responsibilities are not easy to be handled.

I did a lot of mistakes and I was affected by high pressure of stress. I produced assignments of poor quality and I yearned for a lot of leisure and pleasure but somehow, seeing kids makes me smile. I love to be surrounded by them. 

Their attitudes are absolutely amazing. They are enthusiastic and energetic. SEMESTI kids are awesome. Do you want to read the proves?

First, the facilitators were chilling in the dining room, there were a few minutes before the session should start. A boy came, "Facis, we are ready now."

Seriously? Never in my life, a student came and ask us to start the session earlier than the exact schedule.

Second, it was late, it was almost 11pm. We were supposed to end the session at 11pm, so the moderator of that slot asked, "Do you want to go to bed?"

Their reaction, "No!! We don't want."

The facilitators were tired and sleepy but the kids were still eager to continue the session. Haha

Luckily, we are over with English camps for this semester but I am still searching for schools for next semester's programmes.

Sushi and I


Nowadays, every single person who go out with me wants to dine in at Sushi King. Luckily, I never tired of it. Hehe. Not yet tired of it but I do hope for so because there will be a huge whole in my pocket every time I decide to enjoy Sushi King.

Stop Eating and Start Treating


I read a story on Neelofa's instagram. She posted a story about a rich woman with nice clothes who was not happy. The woman met her psychiatrist and he asked the rich woman, "Why are you here today?"

The rich woman said, "I'm not happy."

The psychiatrist called a cleaner lady. He said, "I'm going to ask her, how does she find her happiness?"

To cut it short, the cleaner lady's story is one of the most heartbreaking story I ever heard. She lost her husband and a few months after that she lost her only son. It was depressing for the lady cleaner, she could not eat and she could not smile.

One day, on her way home, a kitten followed her. She let the kitten in and she gave it milk. The kitten licked the plate clean. The kitten purred and rubbed against her leg and for the first time, she smiled. She said, "If helping a little kitten could make me smile, maybe doing something nice could make me happy."

So, the next day, she baked biscuits and gave them to her sick neighbour. Day by day, she tried to do something nice to someone. "It made me so happy to see them happy. Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do."

The rich lady cried. She did have everything that money can buy but she had lost the things that money can't buy.

The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but on how happy others can be because of you.

So, it hits me that I keep wasting money on paying for good food which the happiness does not last long. It makes me think that, what if the money that I spend to pay for the expensive food is used for treating my friends or random strangers. It is a nice thing and somehow, I believe I will be happier than before.

Let say, the cheapest food that I will pay for at a fine dining restaurant cost three portions of the food that I enjoy at the normal restaurant every day. It makes me thinking, what will happen if I treat two of my friends and I for a dinner rather than I go alone to a fine dining restaurant and splurge my money on expensive food.

I'll try to do some experiment and will get back to you later!

Projek Kalsom 20


It was my second year with Projek Kalsom but if you ask me "Why did I join again?", I definitely cannot give the right answer. It is because I feel like I want to. It is a humbling experience and most ultimately, I learn new things every year.

A brief explanation if people ask me about Projek Kalsom is, "Projek Kalsom is a motivational programme for under privileged students especially in rural areas. We help them mainly in utilizing English, develop their soft skills and expose them towards the chances that they have for their tertiary education."

My group, Cyclops.

The programme was initiated by a group of Malaysian students who were studying in United Kingdom 20 years ago but now, they offer the chances to all Malaysian students across the world, including Malaysia. Hello! I'm studying in Malaysia.

The other facilitators never fail to impress me. This year I can see, the reason why I never passed my interview. Most of the facilitators are scholars from big companies in Malaysia. Looking at them, makes me realize what I do not pose in order to score a scholarship. I just managed to move on after years being rejected by a few sponsors. It's okay, I can try again.

Starting from Projek Kalsom 19, there are international facilitators joining us during the one week camp. The international facilitators are fun to mingle with especially when you are introducing them to our food and culture. I did prank Laurence and Thom to eat overripe petai. Haha. It was hillarious! The other thing that I did was, I taught Laurence to speak Malay in Kelantanese accent. As a British, he did well.

There are more than 20 modules every year. These modules are tailored carefully by the module managers with the help of the facilitators. A pair of facilitator will take in charge in one module. The module managers give us the objectives and some suggestions and we, the facilitators may conduct the module under their monitoring.

During Lan and Jijah's session
During Lan and Jijah's session, I only brought my camera during this session because it was an outdoor activity.
Yana was over the sky
Bidding goodbyes to the kids.

The separation was the hardest. I managed to not cry this year because I was in charge with Cultural Night and Closing Ceremony. Hence, I was a bit busy and didn't spend enough time with the kids on the last day which led me to regret the action later. Luckily, I'm going to see them again for a revisit workshop next year. It is a surprise and I hope they didn't find my blog. Haha

We were lucky that Projek Kalsom 20 was held in Dusun Eco Resort. It is an orchard! We ate fresh fruits everyday. After the kids went home, we did go around the orchard and ate variety of fruits. There were mata kucing, jambu air, rambutan and langsat or maybe duku or dokong, I never do able to differentiate them.

That night, we did have a ready-made barbecue because Zuli the director did not want the same incident happened again which last year the facilitators were in charge for the grilling part resulting in most of the chickens were cooked well done. Then, my clique (even in a week camp, I managed to find a clique) and I sneaked out from the party and went for a light swim. Although, I didn't know how to swim but it was fun to dip ourselves in the pool. We went to bed early that night.

The other group, they played games and had chit chat till late at night. While, my group who went early to bed woke up early because we were eager to continue our orchard exploration. This time, we found different fruits. We found cempedak! The taste was super delicious! We also found limau barli but the condition was not good, so we could not taste it. Sob sob.

The cempedak. I hope,  I don't get the name wrong.

We found a lot of petai trees and it was my first time to see petai tree although I love petai so much! Jijah, the most adventurous girl I have ever met decided to climb the tree. If you never see a petai tree, the tree is super tall. She managed to collect a bunch of petai for us to bring home. Sadly, I could not bring them home since I have a lot more destination to head for.

Yana, Uni and Jijah. The group of girls who woke up early to scavenge the orchard.
I do not know how to conclude this entry and it is hard to write everything because I am not good at describing. The thing that I keep telling people is, "If you wanna know more, you have to join Projek Kalsom." Because it is indescribable. 

You may watch the video, if you wanna see a bit of Projek Kalsom.

Finally,  I managed to produce the entry that was saved in my draft for months. I am missing this bunch of inspiring people. We are clingy, our whatsapp group never went silent for a day, at least for now (after two months).

The committee members and the facilitators with a few missing people. Picture from Jijah.




It's Fina again. Life has it's up and down. A lot of things happened these past few days. Although I can't believe they happened but they are reality. 

First, I happened to challenge myself to sign up for a post that I'm sure the workload will turn me into a crazy girl. I just had the skype interview last morning and I do not know what did I do and what did I tell them. It was my first skype interview anyway and I can't even see the interviewers. I think they might have a bad judgment on me.

I went to a meeting because I wanted to sign up for the club but unexpectedly, I was elected to be one of the exco. Now, I have a programme to be planned and some more programme to be brainstormed. Anyway, I got a cute partner. Haha

I am very glad that I managed to meet my girlfriends from UM's days. It has been months since the last gathering. Luckily, the sparks are still there and they reminded me of the moment that we share before. The moment when we study hard and play hard. I am inspired by them, hence now I am in the library.

I am planning to study hard and play hard for this semester. With double workloads compared to last semester, my new home here is the library. I am trying to complete all of my works on weekdays and go have fun on weekends. I'm not sure how long I can stand this, but I hope it will last long. 

Do pray for me! As if there is someone reading my blog. It is a lucky thing that people can't find my blog on google.

I just miss school

Money Planner


I did remind myself a few times last week to do a spreadsheet of my money planning. Money planning is important because, I will see which one is need and which one is my lust. The main intention for me to carry out a money planning spreadsheet is because I need a reminder that I'm a penniless girl. But..

I went to watch movie yesterday
and sneaked in Subway's sandwiches
not to forget, swallowed sushi

and I am planning to go out with my girls


where is my money planner?

Alone but not lonely.


Alone but not lonely because God is with me. 

You will be closer to God when you are alone and lonely. As a person who loves to be on a lone ranger mode, I have to admit that I feel the closest to God when I am alone. It is the time when I have no one to rely on. I mean I have my family, but I'm not crazy to tell them that I'm walking alone at night. (If Ibu found this, I'll be dead). I am so used to travel alone. I ride the bus at night alone, I board the flight alone, I use the train alone and I usually walk alone around KL, and especially at campus.

It is so hard to keep relying on people. As it is hard to keep bugging people when you don't help them much. I know I'm useless. I don't think I help that much. I keep giving burden to people. So, I decide to stand on my own and what makes me stronger is, when I believe God is with me.

What Are You Thankful For Today?


Sincerely, money crisis and I cannot be separated. Especially during the starting of semester. I have to pay for the six months house rent in one go, I have to buy books, nonsense clothes which some subjects require, bills and a lot more. 

Having friends who are lucky to get load of money at the beginning of the semester is really not helping. They keep eating out and somehow I cannot cope with that. Asking money from my parents for the second time in a month is something that I try hard to not do it. My parents have spent loads of money on me, so I am feeling guilty to ask for more.

But, I am thankful. Somehow, I feel blessed. 

For example, last Tuesday, I only have hundred ringgit in my purse for me to survive until next payment day. It is a struggle to spend less than 10 ringgit when I need to have proper lunch and dinner or my tummy would go wrong. Luckily, I attend a two days seminar. Thank god, there are free food starting to breakfast till evening tea and during the night, I eat instant noodle. I save RM20. 

The next two days, RM50 vanished from my purse. There are a lot of thing which needs payment. Okay, RM50 for a whole week till payment day. When you realize you didn't have money, the stress in your body will increase. That is what happen to me and to pretend you are okay when you call your mum is not an easy thing. 

But, still I feel thankful. Allah the Almighty helps me again.

My cousin asked me to accompany her to a kenduri at her future Mother-In-Law's house. So, her family picked me up and we went to kenduri. Somehow, my uncle has the same trait as me which we love impromptu trip. We went for an impromptu vacation at Lumut, Perak.

It's like I'm hitting a jack pot. I got a free vacation! (Although I am penniless)

If without Allah's blessing, I think I will never survive as long as this with only RM100. Alhamdulillah Allah. I am thankful because you send me kind people, food, help, and test at the same time because then I realize, I am your servant who needs you.



Lately, I realize that I'm making a lot of friends who are not around my age. I mean, I am 21 and my new friends are a few year older or a few year younger than me. What I love about them is, they treat me like friends, no seniority. I just hate to call people "kak" or "abang" as I hate people calling me "kak", Oh please! I'm not your "kakak".

My new friends also do give me a new insight about my failures. I can see the reason behind my failures in passing interviews and stuff. They are so inspiring. Their school of thinking are different. Their way of mingling are also different. 

What I need now, is more reading because their general knowledge are wider than me!

Say what? New semester?


It's the first day of semester!

It hits me hard when I realize that I am a Year 3 student. Man, I feel like I just registered yesterday. Semester 5 sounds tough, by the list of subjects and everything. I had a great semester break and to move forward and set my mind into a serious mood is not an easy thing to do. I need to move on.

Writing and Reading


Hey again!

I purposely force myself to write because I found that I have poor writing skills and that is a bad thing for a future teacher like me. I read somewhere, to be good in writing, you need to keep writing. So, that's it! I'm trying to improve myself. I realize that my writing style is inclined to fictional, I love to quote dialogue and describe the event. I am pretty sure, my reading materials influence me a lot. I don't read serious stuff. I prefer fictions. 

Currently, I'm trying to finish the Harry Potter series and not to forget the Bloodlines series and I Am Number Four series that I just bought. I bet, now you have realized what kind of person I am. I am not living in reality. I always hope that I can board the train to Hogwarts, I believe that being a dhampir is super cool and to fight Mogdarions is okay as long as you have the super power.

I am in needing of more holidays! I have The Hunger Games series that needs my attention but hell yeah, I don't want to be Katniss.

Hi bloggie!


New semester is coming, really soon. It is sprinting toward me. I do not know what am I trying to deliver but I have the urge to write something here. It is much better nowadays, because there are not much readers or not even one. I can write and go "meroyan" without the urge to hide my true colour because I am one of the people who do not like to read too much rants on Twitter and Facebook.

I think my post is going no where. Haha. But, my dear blog, you will see me more!



There is a moment when you decide to quit everything and run away, to go to a place where you know no one and hope for no one knows you. When you live to impress people, you will think to do that. Since, you are tired to impress everyone and you found out no one is impressed by you. Run. Run from that school of thinking, you live to impress no one but yourself. Go out of you comfort zone and challenge yourself, you might find something that you never thought you will.

Random Stranger: A German Guy


I tweeted, "If it is fated for me to sit beside a guy in a bus, I always wish that he is a foreigner because, of course he doesn't even want to touch me."

Then as the bus reached Putra station, a blonde and tall guy approaced me, "Hi! My seat is 19."

Hahaha. My wish came true. I stood up and gave him way, "Sure."

He was having a problem because he could not find the way to recline his seat. So, I spoke to him. Maybe he realized that I can speak English, he kept striking a conversation and I was trying to be a good Malaysian continued to talk and trying to keep the conversation going on untill I could not carry on and decided to pretend to fall asleep.

Unexpectedly, he is from Germany. I thought he is from US or UK since he doesn't produce any weird accent and I stupidly stated, " I thought people from Germany do not speak English, but your English is good."

I do envy him, as he is currently spending his summer holiday visiting Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and Singapore. He doesn't even plan it properly. He does it based on his own instinct. I did ask him, "How long are you going to spend at Perhentian Island?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe four or five days."

"So, then where are you going after that?"

"Maybe, Pulau Tioman."

I do wish that I can be that spontaneous in planning my trip but I know my parents will be mad if they found it and I do wish I have more money to spend for traveling too...

Jump Street


It has been an annually routine for me to spend some time in KL during my semester break because it is the only chance for me to see my old friends from school or foundation year. Eating out has been a common thing for us, so we always search for something new to venture. This year, we tried Jump Street.

My verdict: I felt like a loser but I want to go there again.

Basically, the only thing that we do here is jumping on trampolines. It is a bonus if you have a very flexible body but I don't. The referees will show you some basic steps and if you are good they will teach you more. Since, we were shy, we tried a bit and jumped aimlessly and trying to catch up with the songs. It was fun and I  think I did burn some calories there because I was sweating a lot.

We chose 12 pm session. We went a bit early because we didn't book. Luckily it was Wednesday, there were not much people so we were able to walk in. While waiting for our session, we did hang out at the cafe.

We nervously went into the arena, when our session started because all of us were noobs. We did jump a few minutes till one of the referees came to us and taught a few basic steps. The arena is divided into a few spaces. There are main arena, foam pit, dodgeball, the wall, slam dunk, big bang, the cage, and high performance. We spent most of the time at the main arena but we did try the slam dunk and the foam pit. 

They do provide basic facilities such as water dispenser, toilets and prayer room. After jumping, we did change our clothes and pray in the prayer room. I found it very convenient because I rarely find prayer room in that kind of places.

Here are some information if you are interested to try,



I would suggest weekdays because it is cheaper and there will be not much people, so less hassle.

To experience something new while sweating and burn the calories.

Anyone who is healthy and fit to jump.

How much?
RM 20 for the first hour, RM17 for the second hour (Off-Peak)
RM25 for the first hour, RM22 for the second hour (Peak)
RM 4.50 for special socks
RM 10 for locker deposit

*it would be best if you book your session first to avoid sessions sell out

The information above are mostly from their website: JUMP STREET

A date with Sarah


This is a normal post of how a pair of girls unwind their stress after finishing a semester which is full of drama.

So, as stated up there, a date with Sarah. Sarah is the most honest person I have ever met. If I ask her anything for example, "Do I look fat?", she will definitely answer according to how I do look. As lately I did gain some weight so her answer was "Yes, Fina you are." 

And she is the only person who manage to bear with my sushi craving, everytime. If I go out with others with the main intention to eat sushi, it will end up we will be eating something else but sushi. Fortunately, we went to Sushi King on the day they carried the Bonanza Promotion. We had 14 plates that costed about MYR75 for MYR40. Cheapskate will always use every opportunity. 

Since, I chose the restaurant, she picked the movie. We watched How To Train Your Dragon 2 and I was the loser who never watched How To Train Your Dragon. The movie was cool and that made me watched the first movie after I reached home.

After the movie, we went to my favourite bookstore which is Kinokuniya. I did have a few books in mind but I had exceeded my budget this month, so no book but I do know what I should buy if I receive my book voucher (if there still is) next year. I want to have the compilation of the Wreck This Journal. The books are good for me since they will help to reduce the stress in a healthy way.

After wandering in the bookstore and bought nothing, we bought our drinks and chilled at KLCC Esplanade. At first, Sarah wanted to enter the Petrosains but we were late a few minutes after the last admission. Her last minute suggestion made me want to have an educational trip to KLCC someday later. I want to go on a day trip where I will visit the bridge, Petrosains and Aquaria not the shopping mall.

It was a food hunting day for me, we tried the Garret popcorn for the first time. Although a small pack costs about MYR9 to MYR14 but the taste is good. Since, we bought Caramel Popcorn, so it does taste sweet. I love the ensembles from the packaging to the tissue. The quote on the tissue does describe how do I feel at that time, love is messy. 

Before going back, we stopped at H&M which is Sarah's favourite place. I love H&M flats, and I already have two. They always produce new colours for that particular design. I have maroon and grey but I do want to add the blue and pink into the family. Sadly, I did not have enough money. I have to make a new plan for the next semester. I need to save money for the end of the semester because sales are all over the places during the end of the semesters which are June and December.

It was fun but cost a lot of money. Since, I went home on the next day, so it was okay and now I am on a long holiday, two months and a half of holidays.

Re-Post: Archive


I need the vibe to do photography again. Well, I am not a professional one but having a few good pictures in my album is a satisfaction for me. These pictures were taken a few years back but I re-publish them. They were taken in Penang and Taiping.

Babysitting Experience: Legoland


I was supposed to study during the precious study week but it happened that study week will always fall on the same week of school holidays. There is no other time that I am able to spend with my family other than school holidays especially Aiman, the busiest boy that I have ever met. 

The proves are:
1. He is studying at a boarding school
2. He is an SPM candidate
3. He plays basketball at the national level
4. He doesn't go home much

Basically, the only chance that I have to spend some time with him is on Hari Raya. 

Weirdly, he took leave from his game for this school holiday. This is the first family vacation that he joins after three years. Maybe, because it is Legoland.

So, what is so good about Legoland that makes him want to go there?

The ticket sold is about 100 MYR for each person, the food sold is not cheap, the souvenirs are also expensive and it is far at the South of Malaysia. 

1. Rides
The rides are okay. Ammar who has acrophobia (Fear of Height) could pass through every rides without puking or fainting. They are not extreme but fun enough for us. We tried most of the rides except for the spinning one because I did not want to get dizzy. Since, there are not much rides there, we tried Project X and Dragon Roller Coaster twice, we wished to try them for the third time but Ibu was calling for us to get out from the park. My parents left us there and let me babysit them. Since, nothing attracts them to come in.

The most fun ride for me was the Dino Island Ride / Log Ride / Water Ride. Because we were literally wet after going on the ride. There are dryers provided in the parks but they costs 10MYR per usage. Since, we are cheapskate, we let the scorching hot sun to dry us.

I found videos of some of the rides on Youtube:

Aiman prefers the rides above

I like this one.

And, Amsyar love this one because he is a counter strike maniac. He got the highest mark among four of us.

The boat ride which at first Ammar proudly said, "Let me drive." and then after a few moment, I was the one who has the control because he sucks at driving.

2. 4D Cinema
There were four movies screened during that day but we watched only two of them. You can check the schedules and choose which movie you want to watch. We watched a racing movie and The Legend of Chima. I prefer the Legends of Chima.

Since it is 4D, the tendency to get wet is bigger because there were snow effect, splash effect, rain effect, smoke effect and a lot more effects.

3. Monuments
There are a lot of monuments from all over the world. Some of the items are moving and there is a button of random effects which when we push it, an effect will be produced.

4. Landscape
They really did a good job in bringing out the scenes of every concept. There are themes for each rides, and the landscaping was done nicely which make us want to be photographed at every corner of the park.

5. Souvenirs
According to the website there are fives shop in the park but I only found four of them. For a budget tourists like us we were really picky in buying the souvenirs. Amsyar bought a plastic bag of LEGO which costed him 50 MYR. Then I paid for a set of LEGO characters which is 25 MYR for 3 characters. We can customize the LEGO character by ourselves. You can choose the facial expression, the hair, the shirt, the pants/skirt and you can add another accessories. 

These two characters were made by Aiman and I.

6. Food
We did not eat in the park because my brothers are choosy. Basically, you will spend 20MYR per person for a meal in the park. There are a few eateries in there. We chose to eat outside. There is a mall in front of Legoland. We can go out but they will stamp something on our hand if we wish to come in again.

There are a few fast food eateries outside. Some of them are KFC, Burger King, Secret Recipe and The Manhattan Fish Market. We chose KFC but the tax here is a bit different. It is almost the same as KLIA and Genting Theme Park.

Basically, if you want to go there, plan everything carefully. Because if you purchase the tickets online a week earlier you may get 20% discount!  

Happy Father's Day


It's father's day today!

I have no other ability than making lasagnas. (What is the plural of lasagna?)

I am a girl with no money. My source of money is my parents, and I keep asking them money. I am not like others who know how to score a scholarship, or a job. I am incapable. I am not good. I'm sorry my dear parents for burning a hole in your pockets, every months.

I'm glad that Ayah loves it. 




Vivien's Birthday Celebration


Vivien is one of my unique friends. She comes from mix lineage, her maternal side is Lumbawang (Bumiputra) and her paternal side is Chinese. So, last few months (Sorry, just got the mood today), she threw a birthday dinner and she paid it. 

It was not a normal dinner, since I consider that restaurant as a fine dining restaurant. We ate Chinese food! I love the beancurd by the way. 

The funny thing was, we could not surprise her because she could sense everything. Anyway, Chuin did buy a cake, so we just brought out the cake and sing the song. 

It was a simple event but since we were barely in the same class for this semester, the dinner was the only chance for us to have a chit chat. Birthday is meaningful as long as your friends surround you.

Farah M's Pre Birthday Celebration


Farah's birthday falls on 16th May. Sadly, we were very busy on that particular week. I was busy with Mini Hammadang for Taekwondo while Syi and Asiah were busy with their schedules. To make it become more complicated, Farah was busy with her zumba competition too. So, there were lots of plan and lots of changing date occurred. 

At last, the decision was made at 7pm on the same night we wanted to surprise her. I caught the train and reached Mid Valley just nice after they bought the present and dinner. Then we went to Bangsar to buy pavlova. The time was just nice for us to arrive at Shah Alam and Farah to finish her zumba practice. With the help from Qilut, I managed to know Farah's whereabouts and made plan with Qilut to surprise her.

At first, Farah's facial expression was very funny. She thought that we forgot her birthday because it was a day earlier. We just had some chit chat and drinks because it was late. Fuh! Luckily, I could celebrated her birthday this year.

Supermarket Stranger


I am learning to be a good woman. I have to admit, I am entering the stage where I am considered as a woman. Luckily, I am around three lucky souls who are responsible in teaching me to be a good woman. They teach me how to take care the household and the most important thing is, cooking skill.

Last Wedenesday, we went for a groceries shopping. Guess what? I have a crush on a completely stranger. Wait! I am not an easy woman. To be fair, let me describe this lucky guy.

He is not handsome. His skin is dark. I do not care about look, because I do not like handsome guy to be my spouse. Handsome guys can just be my friends.

So, what is so good about him? The way he tolerates with his mother and sister. His mother is such a chatty person which is same as me. He answered everything that his mother asked and he helped with everything. A man who is good in doing groceries shopping is such a turn on. He is nice towards his sister and they speak good English. Bonus point for him!

But, I know that is the last time I see him. May Allah bless your soul dear stranger.

Platonic Relationship


I guess,  I have been reading too much novels which the main plot is the friendship between a guy and a girl and then suddenly turns into love. It is either one of them will slip away or both of them will feel the same. Well,  they are not having a normal relationship,  because they are bestfriend.

So, I am influenced by those novels. I decided to end my platonic relationship because I don't want to be the one who slips away and finds a dead end.I am friendly with boys but to be close with a guy is not my forte. I feel guilty towards my future spouse. I don't want to share too much thing with a guy that may be a stranger later.

It is easy for him to have a girl bestfriend because he is used to it but not me. I have a lot of good friends from opposite gender but not a bestfriend.The decision was made and everything has changed. It is not easy to bump into someone that is used to be your bestfriend without having this awkward feeling and it is not easy to ask help from someone who is used to be your bestfriend.

I am adjusting. Help me, please?

Cooper-K, RodieR


Kisah ini dekat pada diri saya. Saya juga punyai teman rapat daripada kaum yang bertentangan tetapi atas sebab saya sendiri, saya mula menjauhkan diri untuk kebaikan bersama. Saya harap kisah kami nanti tidak akan jadi serumit kisah di antara Mia dan Cooper. Kerana, saya rela untuk menahan sakit itu daripada terus tersasar.

Bukan senang untuk berkawan baik dengan jantina berlawanan. Fitnah mudah timbul dan banyak perkara tak elok daripada yang eloknya. Jadi, saya fikir kalau saya teringin sangat nak ada kawan baik yang berjantina lelaki, baiklah saya tunggu bakal suami yang entah wujud ke tidak itu jadi teman baik saya, seperti Ibu dan Ayah.

Melalui Cooper, saya rasa saya banyak kena tegur secara tidak langsung. Teguran yang paling berbekas, apabila Mia terfikir akan amalan-amalan yang dia buat hanyalah amalan wajib. Saya juga rasa, saya hanya melaksanakan yang wajib sahaja. Al-Quran dah jarang selak, banyak selak benda lain pula. Puasa dah jarang buat, hasilnya badan pun naik dalam masa yang sama.

Selain itu, tabiat Mia yang gemar menyumpah seranah juga saya ada. Walaupun saya menggunakan Bahasa Inggeris apabila mengeluarkan perkataan yang tidak elok kerana pada saya bunyinya kurang menyengat, namun meyumpah seranah adalah satu perkara yang tidak elok. Apatah lagi buat seorang perempuan, macam yang Cooper cakap, "A lady who curse, is a cursed lady."

Saya tahu, saya sedang membuka pekung di dada, sebab itu la kami pelajar sastera tidak digalakkan untuk membuat Reader-Response Review, sebab orang boleh tahu kita ni macam mana. Saya beli Cooper ni pun sebab saya baca kisah ini mengenai dua sahabat baik dan saya juga pernah ada sahabat baik. Saya nak melihat pandangan Rodier mengenai hubungan sahabat baik antara jantina berlawanan dan apabila saya lihat di halaman Facebook Rodier, saya juga mengalami masalah yang sama yang pernah Rodier alami. 

That connection makes me read this novel.

Goodbye Cooper.



You try to put it in a picture
As best as you can
You try to make others see 
As you feel they deserve it
You want people to be in awe
As you was awestruck

But, you realize
You are not good enough
As the truth is not as what it is seen
Because the picture stays different



I am running

Running away from trouble

I am running away from you

Running away from sorrow

Because, running is a therapy

Which helps me to justify

Running keeps me alert

As it pleases my body

The trouble that I face

Is the trouble that I seek

The trouble that I fear

Is the trouble that I create

For, I am the troublemaker

Who keep peace away from you

I'm sorry

Truly sorry

Foul entity


I am the machine

The uncontrollable machine

A machine which made you got blamed

The blame that came from me

I move my feet

away from you

Because I want to skid

Away from you

The feeling is hidden inside

Because there is a soul I shall save

From an entity

Full of foul

Review: Kisah Naz dan Khalish


Novel ini aku beli di PWTC pada Khamis lalu. Sebenarnya tak rancang pun nak pergi pesta buku tu sebab kononnya buku-buku menarik tidak ada tapi sebenarnya, nafsu seorang pembaca novel ini tidak dapat dibendung apabila dikelilingi oleh novel-novel yang banyak terutamanya novel Jemari Seni. Rasanya, Jemari Seni kena bagi diskaun lebih lagi sebab kalau tengok pada rak buku aku di rumah, 70% novel melayu adalah daripada Jemari Seni. 

Kita cerita pasal novel-novel Jemari Seni pada hari lain, sebab tak boleh sentuh lagi, nanti melarat. Lambakan tugas pada minggu-minggu kritikal melambai-lambai. Ini pun nak review novel ni sebab hari tu terbaca dalam perjalanan pulang ke Tanjung Malim. 

Novel ini bukan novel Jemari Seni tapi novel ini telah lama aku perhatikan di rak-rak kedai buku, lantas apabila aku lihat di pesta buku lalu, harganya hanyalah RM15, terus aku ambil. Sinopsisnya menarik. Salah satu cara untuk menarik pembaca adalah dengan penulisan sinopsis yang menarik, kerana sinopsis adalah first impression kepada pembaca. Kulit buku sudah tidak dipandang.

Kisah Naz dan Khalish ni steroetype. Pasal lelaki kaya, anak jutawan dan perempuan yang boleh tahan kaya tapi belum lagi tahap anak jutawan. Takpe la, asalkan penulis tu tak senaraikan segala jenis jenama pakaian, aku boleh tahan lagi. Kalau nak baca novel pasal pakaian berjenama baik aku baca Shopaholic The Series.

Cerita ini biasa tapi gaya penceritaan yang menarik. Aku asyik tergelak-gelak seorang diri sampaikan kawan aku memberi pandangan pelik. Aku suka watak Naz. Dia ni perempuan unik. Bukan jenis-jenis yang aku tidak gemar.

Dia kuat, pandai berdikari dan dia memberi inspirasi untuk aku keluar melihat dunia. Dia bawa diri setelah kecewa dengan orang yang tak pernah sedar akan kewujudannya. Sedih bukan? Naz dah banyak meneroka negara asing. Bukan senang untuk seorang wanita bertudung untuk mengembara. Watak Naz, membuatkan aku tertanya-tanya, bila aku mahu mengembara melihat dunia?

Bagi aku yang menarik dalam novel ini adalah pada kekuatan watak Naz sahaja. Dia memberi inspirasi padaku. Wanita perlu tegas pada lelaki, lepas kahwin baru boleh tunjukkan sifat manja. 


Quench the thirst!


Living on your own is not an easy thing to do, but I'm glad that I have them. They are the people who manage to adjust with my tantrums. I throw tantrums, a lot and not many can stand it.

We went to, pay the internet bill today and somehow despite our money running low, we went to Tutti Frutti which is just beside the TM Point. Blame the weather that made us thirsty. Haha, okay blame me who can't control my lust.

At least, we shared the new ice-cream combination. It is a combination of yogurt ice-cream with fruits and almond. I was tempted to try the chocolate, peanuts mix but since everyone prefers fruits rather than chocolate, so I tolerate with myself. Besides, the one that we chose is a bit healthier compared to mine and I have to watch my food intake.

Nowadays, we do a lot of cooking, and that makes us enjoy the food while saving a bit penny. 

A poem for Anas


As the caravans of sadness reach us,
where are the tears to console us?
We don't cry over our affliction
because of Qadar (predestination),
instead we swallow our sadness
like a bitter-sweet drink
There can be no objection to
what our Qadar has brought,
nor can we object to the decision of our Creator

with the departure of his shrouded body, 
our hearts bleed from
deep pangs of suffering
O Allah,
please forgive us our tears for Anas,
as he was our guiding star in the darkness
Our Lord,
bless his place of rest and
grant us patience
as our companion in hardship

The poem was written by a Anas' mother. I do not know these people both Anas and his mother but I know they are among the great Allah's servants.

Although this poem has no ryhme and it is a blank verse poem, but it is a beautiful poem. It is a sincere poem from a mother. A mother who gave the birth of this man who went to see his creator. The sincerity will bring tears. How strong this mother can be? I respect her, she doesn't cry. She is indeed a strong woman.

The moment I lost my grandfather and grandmother who I am partially close with were enough to bring tears and sometime, when I imagine my parents leave me, the tears come uninvited. I cannot be strong as her to accept the Qadar. I know, I am a servant who does not love the creator at the most yet, but Allah, my creator, the creator of everything, I want to get closer to you and I know as I'm coming close, you will come closer to me. I know, I will never be disappointed if I love you because your love is the best love that everyone should not miss it.