Spill It Fina


I'm falling in 
I'm falling down
I wanna begin
But I don't know how

I wouldn't wanna be somebody else, hey
You made me insecure, told me I wasn't good enough

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow - I'll be gone

I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

(Hearts on Fire, Who Says, Fireworks, Save Tonight, Fireflies, Let Her Go)

I secretly wish that I'm good in writing.

Kamen Rider!


A weird act but randomly done in a synchronization. This is brotherhood.

A picture that I got from Mahadhir and I have no idea when did this happen.

I find it is cute.

Now, all of them are scattered around the globe. 

p/s: I miss school. 

A Fortnight Journey - Part (iii) Projek Kalsom 19


12. Projek Kalsom 19!

Hey there! Sorry for the delay, so this is the third post for "A Fortnight Journey" series. This is the main part of this journey, Projek Kalsom 19.

What is Projek Kalsom?

"Projek Kalsom is a collaborative project between Kelab Kalsom and United Kingdom and Eire Council for Malaysian Students (UKEC). It is a motivational programme for Form 4 students who have excelled in their studies but come from less fortunate backgrounds. It is run by Malaysian students enrolled in universities in the United Kingdom and Ireland, but students from other universities are also welcomed to join as volunteers. The programme runs approximately one week."

I knew about this programme from Nawal who invited me to join this programme along with her but somehow it turned out I was the only one who submitted the form. There were mix of feelings when I received the email that said I was accepted as one of the facilitators. Joy, insecure, inferior, excited and everything at the same time. Excited as I would do something beneficial during my semester break but inferior when I thought of the friends that I would meet in Projek Kalsom, since most of them are studying abroad and I'm in local university.


That was actually nothing. They treat me without any difference and they are really cool people!

They are professional.
They are flexible.
They are crazy!
They are awesome.
and most of them are older than me... but they treat me like friends.

Well, I was from boarding school, so age difference was a big thing before this.

From my own perspective, Projek Kalsom does change my point of view. It makes me realize that I'm lucky enough and I should be grateful. There was once, during this one activity where we supposed to share about our dreams and then the students shared their dreams and what made them to dream like that. Some of them had gone through lots of barriers and deep inside myself I knew I could not  be as strong as them if I was at their place.

Some of them lost the father at such a young age
Some of them never got encouraged
Some of them never knew what the outside world is like
Some of them had to do something that they didn't want
Some of them had no confidence
Some of them never know their potential
Some of them were very uncomfortable with English usage
Some of them were clueless

I also learnt that you can never judge someone from their appearance, you don't know the story behind. There was one student who seemed cheerful, energetic and very confident, but you never know that she lost her father when she was still in her mum's womb. Growing up without the presence of father and seeing your mum crying everyday is not an easy thing to handle.

Projek Kalsom 19 made me realize what I want to do in my life. At first, one of the thing that made me wanna be a teacher was when I saw some of my friends failed to get offered for their desired course due to their language incompetency although they scored the core subjects pretty well. 

Besides, I failed most of my interviews due to my low competency in speaking skills. My personal achievement in dealing with interviews is I passed only one out of five interviews. The kind of interviews that involve big shot, important people, serious talk and everything not that random interview while applying part-time jobs or to enter a club.

I've told you in my older post that I had no confidence to speak English at all when I was 18 years old. This is one of the reason why I joined Kalsom, I don't want them to go through that experience. The experience when you want to give opinion in English but due to language barrier you cannot voice it out.

Now, I realize what I want to do in my life. I have this one hope, my hope is to inspire people and creating a more confident society. So, the most suitable place to start is in school!

I learnt a lot from these kids. They inspire me. It was a priceless experience that I will never trade with anybody.

I become more confident
I want to contribute more
I want to draw my future
I will apply the SMART technique
I want to be that kind of teacher who touches the heart not the brain.

I'm not going to tell you in details what we had gone through during the five days camp, but if you are interested please go to the Facebook page of Projek Kalsom and please like it! There are lots of pictures there.

These are the awesome facis and committees!

And we were on The Star!

A Fortnight Journey - Part (ii) Felda Keratong


22nd August 2013
We moved to our second destination, Felda Keratong. Wow! Every family in Felda owns at least a tablet, lots of handphones and even an astro decoder!

Valerie and I were placed in the same foster family house. We were lucky to get Pak Cik Salleh and family. They were so nice and their deeds can't be paid by money.

We had a nice tea time that evening, and Valerie also had the chance to ride a motorbike. At night, they brought us to the food court, that gave Valerie the chance to taste more Malaysian food. She tried, Nasi Goreng Kampung, Satay, Yong Tau Foo and Tom Yam.

23rd August 2013
7. Keratong Secondary School
We gathered at the Keratong Secondary School at 7.45am. They served us breakfast but then our foster family had served us loads of food from Nasi Goreng, Nasi Lemak and some desserts. I never got hungry when I was in Keratong.

The session started by Zuli told us his story, his hardship and what he had achieved. It was inspiring. My favourite quote was "Don't pray for your life to get easier, but pray for yourself to be stronger."

There were few modules conducted but everything was about to make the students feel confident to speak in English.

In the evening, we had a futsal match, I am no good at sport except for jogging but I tried to play and I think I played like a fool.

At night, we went to an open house. This time, Valerie got the chance to try  Lontong, Lemang and Rendang.

We went home, and before going to bed we did gossip and the funniest thing was:

24th August 2013
8. Keratong 1 Primary School
The kids were much more exciting. It was much easier to get their co-operation compared to the secondary school students. They were cheerful and energetic!

I found that it was much easier to remember a naughty kid's name compared to the shy one, so kids please be naughty!

These kids were impressive, one of them could even make a complex sentence when we asked them to make a sentence about market. She gave me this sentence, "There are lots of people doing various things in the market." Jaw dropped!

9. Mak Lang's Open House

Mak Lang is actually Zuli's aunt. Her house is really cool! There is one small hut, where people play carom and on that day, we learnt how to make ketupat at the hut.

Sincerely, I never knew how to make ketupat and even my mum always buys the ready made ketupat from the supermarket. It was hard for me at first but nothing can beat the hard work, after lots of trials and three teachers including my foster parents, I managed to finish one.

The food was nice! There were laksa, lemang, mee kari, satay and coconut jelly which Valerie took some home.

10. Badminton Match

At that night, we went to the Badminton Court. The court was so nice and I could not believe that it was in a Felda. Kak Syahira picked us up. She was among the important people who made this programme happened. She is pretty, nice and knows most of the sports that we played from futsal, hand ball and badminton.

I played three games, but I could only remember the last game where I was partnering with Kak Syahira before partnering with Joe. We were against Zuli and Farid. It was hilarious. We were laughing all the time.

Went home at 11pm, and this really made me guilty when my foster dad woke up my foster mum and she prepared us some snack. Guilty all over again.

25th August 2013
11. Palm Oil Visit
This was the most exciting part ever! We were lucky that, we could get on the pick up truck! I never had the chance to be on one, and on that day my wish was granted. We had fun on the joy ride moment!

We visited a palm oil and that was the first time I knew about how the palm fruits are harvested. Then, the worker brought us to the farther side of the Felda where there is a suspension bridge there. They also did bring us to the palm oil refinery. There was a video captured when we were on the pick up truck but I think the video is a bit inappropriate to be shown.

Kak Syahira did also treat us with ice-cream and at last got the chance to eat "potong" ice cream after a long time.

That was the last day in Keratong. The next destination was Kuantan. Stay tuned!

A Fortnight Journey - Part (i) KL


In a fortnight there were lots of things happened, lots of packing happened, lots of pictures taken and lots of memories were created. I wanted to make a single long post but in the end I gave up, I had to split it into few different posts. So this is the post for the KL, Selangor and Putrajaya part.

18th August 2013
1. Sab's Open House

I took a bus to KL on Saturday night and Farah picked me up at 7 in the morning. We went for a breakfast and while waiting for Syi, we went to FRIM in Kepong. It was a random decision.

Since Eid Celebration in KL is in one full month so it is not weird if there is at least one open house invitation for every weekend. It is different compared to the East Coast Malaysia. Coincidentally, on that particular week, Sab invited us to her open house at Kota Damansara. At Sab's place, I managed to meet lots of my PASUM's friends which I had not meet since I left PASUM.

We had chit-chat and photography session but I had to leave early to attend a programme. Luckily Nawal my schoolmate who happened to be Sab's neighbour was there to send me to the LRT station. Thanks dear!

19th August 2013
2. Putrajaya

The reason why I was in KL because I participated as one of the local facilitator in Commonwealth Cultural Programme. It was a programme where we as Malaysians introduce our local culture to the British Facilitators. Commonwealth Cultural Programme is a sub-programme for Projek Kalsom 19 which is a motivational programme for youth, age around 16 years old.

For the first day, we brought them to the administrative capital which is Putrajaya. 

3. Soup Kitchen for The Soul

At night, we went to a charity event called PERTIWI Soup Kitchen. Basically the event is about feeding the homeless people. I've been wanting to participate in this kind of event since long ago, and finally CCP gave me the opportunity to get involved.

What I learned on that night was, "Don't judge them, we don't know their stories."

20th August 2013
4. KL Tour
Although I've been living in KL for a year during my PASUM days, but I never went to Central Market or Petaling Street and I don't have the memory if my parents had brought me there when I was small. The worst is, I never thought CM would have air-cond in it, pity me.

We went to Kasturi Walk and Petaling Street. Bumped into Najah but could no talk, just a quick hug because we were rushing. Then, we went to MATIC (Malaysia Tourism Centre) to watch a cultural show. The dances were awesome!

After watching the dance, we went to KLCC. Got sometime to grab something before heading back to our hostel but then we the girls rushed back to Petaling Street because Romana lost her dress that she bought at CM, so we went to buy the dress again and this time, I bought one dress too.

Managed to get back to the hostel and had dinner together with the rest. It was an amazing race!

A video of Joe who was trying Cendol. It seemed like he didn't like it.

5. Sleepover with The Jaggers!

After the dinner, I managed to sneak out with the committee's approval to Dina's house for a sleepover with the Jaggers! At last, I could meet all of them!

21st August 2013
6. Free Day

In the morning, we had a quest. For the British facilitators, they had to ask a few questions to the locals while the local facilitators had to gather some messages from the Malaysian.

It was hard for us to find someone who is willing to do so. They thought we were trying to collect some donation and we even met some police officers and they asked for our identity cards too. I thought, I was Malaysian enough for them to not care about me but I was wrong.

The activities ended at half past ten, we went to KLCC for lunch, it was Zamri's treat. He wanted our friends Valerie and Romana to try the Nasi Lemak and Satay.

Then, I went to meet Farah and Atul at Debenham's while the others went to visit the National Mosque. I tried the Churos that Farah loves, the Churos was crispy and the taste was nice.

After saying goodbyes, Farah and Atul went home, while I wandered alone around Lot 10 and accidentally bought a pair of flats. Sorry mum, but I need a decent flats to go with baju kurung and dress since I brought sneakers and trainers only.

It was 3pm, so I decided to go back to the hostel and took a nap since I didn't get enough sleep from the previous night. Woke up and boredom strike, there was no one there. Everyone went out, I wanted to have dinner but bored of the food from the nearest restaurant. 

Although, it was night but I went out alone because I was very hungry. Luckily the area was bright and there were lots of people so I went to Subway and had a take away. On my way back, I got the chance to see some prostitutes trying to sell themselves. Feewwitt!

I know my parents would be mad if they know this. So... Shhh!!

To be continued...

Harry Potter in Terengganu!


It happened like this,

On a Saturday night, we were on our way to Terengganu. It happened that, one of the tires of our mini bus bursted. So, we stranded at roadside in a barber shop.

The most random thing happened was, Josh got a hair cut and suddenly he looked like the Harry Potter main cast, Daniel Radcliffe. So the topic Harry Potter came out and then I asked them how they pronounce Harry Potter?

I sound like a witch! Sorry for being hyper that night, I drank a glass of coffee at Hai Peng Kopitiam and it drove me crazy!



The last time I met them was two years ago, and after that there were lots of meeting up plan but I could not make it, since I am the only one who comes from the East Coast Malaysia. We come from different places with different background but weirdly, eight of us can clique with each others. At first, I thought I didn't have the chance to meet them but on the day of the event, I managed to skip after dinner. Finally, I could meet them!

We had a sleepover at Dina's place with some pizzas and games. Slept at 3am, and woke up at 7am since they had to send me back to the venue where I stayed for my programme.

Thanks Dina for the place!
Thanks Farisha for the drive!
Thanks Hana for the great co-piloting skills!
Thanks Mariam for the care!
Thanks Nisa for making it happened!
Thanks Aisha for the games!
Thanks Azlin for coming from Ipoh and the Sharpie too!