Friends

16:08

I'm not writing about the tv series Friends, I am now writing friends as a noun. It is in plural because, I have a lot of friends. I always have a lot of friends but let me tell you something, friends is a vague word. Friends does not mean we know each other. Friends means we know a few details about each other. Sometime, we don't even remember the full name of that friends.

I think, I have put too much expectations on the title friends, which somehow disappoint me every single time. I am a clingy friend. That is why I expect too much and people tend to quit being my friends.Besides clingy, I have bad reputations in taking care of my friends' hearts, thanks to my sharp mouth.

So, retaining friends is a big problem for me. I fail to do that most of the time. Friends come an go and broken friendship is more hurtful rather than being rejected. Losing someone who I was comfortable to share things is devastating. I know, there are a lot of bad traits that I pose but changing myself would not make you become my friends because that is being fake.

Baby Adult

20:23

I have officially started my real teaching career last week, May 2nd, 2017. That will be the date when I will celebrate my teaching career. InsyaAllah, if Allah wills, I should have another 36 years to go but, who knows I might be marrying a rich guy and can survive with my pension at the age of 40. Oh keep dreaming Fina! But, I love teaching, I cannot see myself doing another job. 

This place is so alien for me. It is 5 hours away from my hometown. I have never imagined being sent here. Heck, I did not even apply for this state. It feels so surreal and honestly, I always feel like I want to cry everytime I am on my way home for the past two weeks.

For now, I am baby adulting. I live like an adult but at the same time, I am still crawling. My allowance, petrol and even my car are paid by my lovely parents. They even came here to set up my room and house. The room was totally empty but now it is quite comfortable for me to live here. Bless them. I will always pray that Allah will reward them because they truly deserve it for raising me and always do their best to make me comfortable. 

Oh shoot, I want to cry now. I should call Ibu now. Later!

Love Yourself

09:50

Honestly, I do not know the meaning of "love yourself" or the techniques to do it. Well, when you learn a theory, you should understand the concept first. So, I have encountered a few writings that speak about loving yourself. 

I think loving yourself means that you love yourself without being dependent on other entity. You love yourself enough for you to become better from day to day.

I just turned 24 yesterday and as I got older I have realized that I should not be depending on others to make me happy. If I want to be happy, it all should start from myself. All the best Fina!